whenever I’m underwater I always touch my hair because there’s no frizz and it’s smooth and flowing and all w h o o s h and that’s why I’m pissed I’m not a fucking mermaid.
“We dressed up as the book Madeline, with six people dressed up as her and me as Ms. Clavel, their teacher. One of the Madelines, however, was the truly special one…the one with the beard, that is. Our experience was hysterical—I’d walk all the girls (and one guy) down the street in two straight lines. Guys would be walking the other way, whistling or hollering at all the pretty ladies. Then, as they got to the back of the line, they’d see my friend Brennan, then they’d see me, and I could tell that they were suddenly wondering if ALL the Madelines were men.”
the last sentence
There will never be a time when I don’t reblog this because it is my fave.
It could happen to anyone. People bury a person alive to scare them or to get rid of them. In this situation, rely only on yourself.
- Do not waste oxygen. In a classic coffin there’s only enough oxygen for about an hour, maybe two. Inhale deeply, exhale very slowly. Once inhaled - do not swallow, or you will start to hyperventilate. Do not light up lighters or matches, they will waste oxygen. Using a flashlight is allowed. Screaming increases anxiety, which causes increased heartbeat and therefore - waste of oxygen. So don’t scream.
- Shake up the lid with your hands. In some cheap low-quality coffins you will be able to even make a hole (with an engagement ring or a belt buckle.)
- Cross your arms over your chest, holding onto your shoulders with your hands, and pull the shirt off upward. Tie it in a knot above your head, like so: This will prevent you from suffocating when the dirt falls on your face.
- Kick the lid with your legs. In some cheap coffins the lid is broken or damaged already after being buried, due to the weight of the ground above it.
- As soon as the lid breaks, throw and move the dirt that falls through in the direction of your feet. When it takes up a lot of space, try pressing the ground to the sides of the coffin with your legs and feet. Move around a bit.
- Whatever you do - your main goal is to sit up: dirt will fill up the empty space and move to your advantage, so no matter what - do not stop and try breathing steadily and calmly.
- Get up. Remember: the dirt in the grave is very loose, so battling your way up will be easier than it seems. It’s the other way around during a rainy weather however, since water makes dirt heavy and sticky.
JUST TO PROVE TUMBLR HAS A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING.
just in case guys
it could happen to anyone
So I hadn’t yet come out to my mum and today I got home to see that someone had changed the cover on my bed to this
And then I saw that they left a note on the bed, so I went over to take a look at it and
My mum is the best
Whenever I see this I think well what if you weren’t gay and you came home one day to this
I’m bothered by how the outlet and plug don’t match
thats the point of the piece. she has insomnia so she cant “plug in” to sleeping.
this is fucking perfect holy fuck
My life tbh.
Winter is coming.
JuST TAKE WHAT YOU WANT AND LEAVE
"The first Disney Movie to tell girls they can fight too is Frozen!"
"Frozen is the first Disney Movie where the girl didn’t need a man to save her!! <3 "
"Frozen is the first Disney movie about loving sisters!"
"Frozen is the first Disney movie to question why someone would get married after knowing them for only a day."
"Frozen is the first film to have a blonde male lead who “doesn’t fit the cookie cutter mold””
LMAOOOOOOOOO the screaming in the beginning
"oh jesus christ"
"please don’t give me that look"
"please don’t fly"
That owl is 30000000% done
every time this video graces me with its presence i feel obliged to reblog it
Lolol omg I’m done
Reblog every time
Miley Cyrus won Video of the Year at the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards, but she didn’t accept the Moonman trophy herself.